Tuesday 28 October 2014

Mistakes? A plenty. Regrets? None


“If someone were to ask do I regret anything, I would say only 1”

Question marks appeared in my head. No, not I am not curious of what the person regrets but more of after all he has been through, he still only regrets 1 decision. How is it possible? I, on the other hand, regrettably have a few questionable traits and made a few terrible decisions through these 23 years of my existence. Only recently, I found the answer to my question; Perspective.

You live the life you choose. It is your choices (or lack of) that moulds you into who you are today. Your decisions, your actions brought upon the consequences you are living through now. Good or bad, it all stemmed from your initial choice. I come to realize that regretting your decision is a strong declaration to make. Mistakes are inevitable as humans. Mistakes are common, learning from mistakes is expected but regretting the mistake made is entirely our own decision.

I made plenty of mistakes throughout the 23 years I've lived. Some are minor, some are terrible. I used to say I regret not doing this or that. I used to say I regret not continuing with school after college but as I thought it through, I realized that I should not be regretting anything.

It was a decision I made to realize my sister’s dream before mine. It was a decision I made to reduce the expenses for the family. My sister has graduated and now about to start her dream job. My parents do not worry about my welfare as much. I learnt that things may not go the way I plan it to but things will always be better than expected. I learnt that not everyone is as lucky as I am. I learnt that not everyone has an uneventful childhood like I did. Most importantly I learnt that everyone has their own battle to get through. All these I would not have learnt through school. I learnt through observations of my own to my surroundings at work and through social meetings.

I do not regret losing friends along the way as I am able to see sincerity in those that stayed.
I do not regret loving those from my past as it taught me how I should better myself for my final one.
I do not regret trusting the wrong friends as it taught me that trust should be treated with utmost respect.
I do not regret my rebellious years as it showed me fear and the flip side of the community I thought I knew.
I do regret, however, not saying ‘I love you’ enough. No matter how many times I say it, it is never truly the exact representation of how much love I feel for the other. It took a death in the family for me to realize how inexpressive I can be towards the one I love. To this day, I kept on replaying the last moments I had with my darling cousin in my head.

Maybe the title of this post should be changed. Mistakes? A plenty. Regrets? One (so far)

*Hey you. I hope you’re doing better up there. I know you’re looking over our big family. I know you’re strumming that Gibson guitar. I just want to say thank you. Thank you for waiting to say goodbye. Thank you for the smiles, laughter and memories you've etched in our hearts. Family wishes you’re well up there and we’ll see you when the time comes. We will always love you. Family unites for you. After all, Nothing Else Matters.*



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