With time I'll learn

A cup of coffee to soothe the soul and mind

And whosoever puts his trust in Allah, then He will suffice him –Al Talaq (65:3)

I’ve not been the best of health lately and getting irritated seemed to be even easier than before. Things being pushed back and running late are one of my most pet-peeve. The better half calls me ‘Kan-chiong Spider’ and I am in no position to deny that.

Control is something I adore and seek. Every single day is planned out to the utmost precision for me to foresee and expect turns and setbacks. I cannot handle setbacks well especially when it is due to my own mistakes or incapability. As I get older, I learnt the hard way that things may not go the way you hope for. I used to cry each time things does not fall the way I want it to be. I will sulk for days before I console myself. I used to question why it was not granted the way I want it to.

With age I realized that HE has his reasons why. I may not see it now, but in time, I’ll know why. I realized that HE may not be putting just me through the trial but also the people closest to me. I must learn to let go of control. I must learn to let fate runs its course. I must have faith in HIM that he knows what is best.

With my health not at its best and anxious news kept on coming in, my anxiety spilled over and I, regrettably, pour it out. Anxiety is not the best of feelings to show others during their most dire need of calmness. Anxiety makes me tremble and cry. Every day is a lesson and opportunity to learn to handle anxiety. I am still learning.

With each new day, I am to strengthen my faith to let go of disappointments and uncertainty.